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Six (Subtle) Differences Between California and Wisconsin

  1. Wisconsin restaurants don’t know how to act when you want to order takeout. In California we have our sit-down restaurants, we have fast food/drive-thrus of course, and then we have restaurants where you can order food, then eat it there or take it home. You walk up to the counter, order, wait for your food, and it comes in convenient packaging. I have yet to encounter a place in Wisconsin that operates this way. 
  2. Tornado sirens freak me the fuck out. Midwesterners are used to them but in California you’ve only heard that noise in a movie, if you’ve heard it at all, and those movies don’t end well. I swear to god the first Wednesday of the month at approximately 12:05 PM CST I think the world has gone to war or something. 
  3. DRIVING. Wisconsin drivers are actually really nice. They go around the speed limit and they’ll move over for you. Californians are either going 15 over, tailgating the shit out of you, or they’re doing the speed limit sitting in the fast lane. FIB’s on the other hand, let’s just say the car that flies past you and swerves onto the shoulder to pass another car on I-39 will always have an Illinois plate. 
  4. Motherfucking wind chill is crazy. Not to brag but you don’t look at the forecast in California and say “wow it’s 68 degrees today, oh but that wind chill means it’ll feel like 60 we’d better stay inside.” In Wisconsin you look at the 20 degree forecast and think “I can take it” then you’re walking to the Powerhouse and your fucking ear falls off. There’s a reason the “it wouldn’t be so cold without the wind” cliché exists. 
  5. Simply saying hi to people. The amount of times that a “hi” and a wave have caught me off guard are innumerable. Maybe I’m just rude, but that rarely happens in California. We just go about our business. If you know someone really well you’ll probably stop and talk but otherwise just give them a nod. 
  6. Liquor stores and grocery stores. If you’re going to a liquor store in California (at least where I’m from) then you’re going to the dangerous part of town and you’re probably buying cigarettes not liquor. If you want alcohol you just go to the supermarket. My local grocery store has three huge aisles in the very center of the store just packed full of alcohol. In Wisconsin there’s these cute little establishments where you can find all different types of craft beer and booze. Not to mention Woodman’s has to wall off their liquor like its fucking prohibition. 

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