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Men’s Basketball is Back!

9,986,000 jump shots are taken in a basketball season. Can you believe that? No, you can’t because that’s actually the number of minutes Michael Scott worked at Dunder Mifflin. I sat down with a couple of the men’s basketball players and they all told me the same thing, they have a lot of depth. Each one spoke about how that is our greatest strength going into the season. This is the depth that had them go 1-1 in our first week of action. Which show had more depth than “The Office”? None. So, to bring you back to hoops season I have a breakdown of which basketball player is which character. 

First off the head huncho. Michael Polakoski ’23 is our Michael Scott. Our leading scorer and one of the best leaders on the team. His way of leading may not be conventional with Spongebob jokes casually thrown in but he leads. If Polakoski left it would be like “The Office” seasons 7 and 8. Good but not great. Next, our leading scorer and our leading salesman. For Dwight Schrute it was not hard to figure out who. Andrew Walters ’21 was the obvious choice. Dwight is integral in “The Office”. Without him “The Office” just isn’t as good. Without him, the show and the team are not the same.  Rounding it out for the big 3 for this team is Mylan Walters ’22 aka Jim Halpert. He runs the show, and controls the pace and tempo of the team. Much like Jim Halpert did in the show. Without M. Walters the offense doesn’t move as smoothly and he is an integral leader. “The Office” could not work without the pranks Jim sets on Dwight, and the passes M. Walters gives to his teammates is quite similar. 

Looking for Pam Beesly? Look no further than Brian Rusch ’24. Rusch, as his teammates call him, is always open for a bucket. He fits here because he can be the star of the show when you want him too, or he can fade in the background and hit some crucial threes or run over some hot coals to keep the audience and other team on their feet. The show would not be complete without Pam, and the team wouldn’t be complete without Rusch. 

I’m going to combine two background characters for this comp. Kevin and Creed are always on fire when they come into the show. Their jokes always hit but they don’t get much screen time. They also take the brunt of the jokes most times. This comparison goes to Azeez Ganiyu ’24 because he is always doing the dirty work. Not only is he doing the dirty work but he is scoring as well this year. Imagine a hybrid character of Kevin and Creed. He may have been the funniest person on the show. Ganiyu at any time could be the best player on the floor.

Check back next week to see the rest of my comparisons and get an update on men’s basketball! 

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