How Beloit students got their crushes
2020 is all about shooting your shot. With Valentine’s Day this past weekend, you might be wondering how so many people got cuffed. The Round Table sat down with students to see how exactly people got with their crushes. From being direct to being utterly confused, students shared their experiences.
A common trend in some of these stories is a tendency to be direct and efficient. This could be partly due to the fact that the type of person who would agree to be interviewed might be more confident.
“Most of the time it’s just texting someone and asking if they want to hang out, except for one time when it was a Facebook invitation,” said Helen Griffin’19. “Somebody invited me to a Facebook event that was just us fucking.”
This goes to show that being straightforward doesn’t always have to be boring. The use of multimedia platforms does not stop there. Various students have mentioned accounts of business style emails that had fluctuating results.
“One time I got a midnight facebook message from a guy I’d never talked to asking me to watch the Disney movie Mulan, and I said yes, so that happened,” said Griffin.
Other times, people take advantage of opportunities that arise out of circumstance. Helen recounts a time in which she discovered the silver lining of Wisconsin weather.
“I was on a road trip with someone to Milwaukee and we were on our way back. It started snowing, and then it started snowing more and I couldn’t see the road, so obviously we had to pull over and get a hotel room,” said Griffin.
Some people decide to go straight for a crush, while others take more time easing in. There are many tactics involved.
“My strategy is usually doing three nice things and then asking them out,” said Julia Dirkes-Jacks’20. “Do something nice for them or pay them a compliment and indicate that you might be interested. That way it’s planted as a seed and then you just go ahead and ask them out. Then they’re not wondering forever and you’re not in limbo. Just hint a little bit and then close the deal.”
Vishal Tomby’20 goes about this in the less structured and more lighthearted approach of flirting. “It’s very fun and very harmless, so sometimes it works out,” said Tomby. “It’s one of the benefits of having a big mouth. Relationships and crushes are generally time-consuming. When it’s just flirtation, it’s not so much. Most people expect flirtation to lead to something whereas I enjoy it for the fun of it.”
Other times, people end up with their crushes without even realizing it’s happening. Ben Katz’19 told his “oblivious boy” story about how he ended up with his significant other of over three years:
“I met them through Pocket-Lint and Rocky Horror, which we were both in. I didn’t really realize that I had a crush on them at first because I’m dumb and I don’t notice things. I would try to get to rehearsal early every day because they were always there early to help with choreography. It was an excuse to chat with them for a while and we would talk.
One night I was in the basement of C-Haus (R.I.P.) swiping on Tinder and I found their profile. I got overwhelmed and closed the app. Eventually, I swiped right, but they had already deleted their Tinder so they never swiped back and I thought it wouldn’t happen. I didn’t know at the time, but ironically, they had liked me on another app that I was no longer using. I just didn’t think that it would happen because they’re so cool and I’m just this oblivious little man. I thought, ‘Yeah I like them, but I’m not gonna do anything about it.’
A couple of weeks after that, I saw them outside of a party with their skateboard and they were like, ‘Hey, want me to teach you how to skate?’ I said sure, but still had no idea what was happening. I didn’t do a very good job skating because I was wearing dress shoes, but it was fine.
Then a week after that, we were at Art House’s Internet Party and I went over to talk to them about a poetry slam that they had recently organized for Pocket-Lint. They asked the DJ to play ‘Buy You a Drank,’ and we started dancing. The next thing I know, we are making out. Then I did the most smooth thing I’ve ever done in my life. Up until this point, I wasn’t sure what was happening. I was still oblivious about all of this. But I asked, “ Do you want to go somewhere more private?” and that’s how we got together. Then I didn’t know what was happening for a while after that.
After a few weeks of hanging out, a friend came up to us in the mail center and asked if we were dating and we didn’t know what to say. The next day they asked if I wanted to be they’re boyfriend and I nodded my head in a really dorky way.
The rest is history. We have been together for two years and three months. My Valentines gift for them this year was an earring made out of a wisdom tooth from my own mouth. That’s what they said they wanted and it might have been a joke, but that’s what they’re getting.”
Although students go about reaching out to their crushes in different ways, they seem to come to a consensus about the importance of clarity.
“I just show genuine interest and care about the other person, but also make it very distinct and clear,” said Vishal Tomby’20 “For example, I am someone who when it comes to monogamous relationships, am hesitant because I want to travel and I would feel bad tying someone down to that. I think that whenever I approach someone I have a crush on, I’m always very direct and communicative. I usually expect other people to be that way, but they’re usually not.”
Tomby also distinguishes between the types of crushes, as it can be easier to be more upfront with someone you don’t know personally. “If it’s a total stranger crush, then that’s different from someone that you see around and at school,” said Tomby. “I’ve done some ballsy shit. I once went to Bushel and Peck’s and just left my number on a napkin.”
Even though the success rates of these methods have not been 100%, our shooters of shots seem to have no regrets. “I think the fear of rejection is very silly because you just start back where you were, to begin with, and don’t lose anything, but I guess some people are too afraid of that,” said Tomby. Dirkes-Jacks shares a similar opinion.
“Sometimes they say yes and sometimes they say no, but it keeps me from just pining for someone forever and it gives me a plan. It lets you get over it faster if it doesn’t work,” said Dirkes-Jacks. “ If you just keep going on forever, they’re opinion isn’t going to change unless you present the option.”
Now that the pressure of Valentine’s Day has passed, it’s the perfect time to go for your crush. With the inspiration and wisdom of these students, who knows, you just might be lucky enough to get a tooth necklace next year.