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Victory or Bust: fantasy football at its best and worst

Jake Quatt/The Round Table

Jake Quatt/The Round Table

Welcome readers! In this series, I’ll be providing my own wisdom into this fantasy football season, and chronicling the performance of my own team. In full disclosure, this is only my second season playing fantasy football, so I have very little idea of what I’m talking about. Still, I (humble-brag alert) somehow won my league last year, so you never know where my advice might take you!

However, first things first — I need a new team name. Last year’s name isn’t fit to be published. Suffice to say, it was a pun on balls. Instead of renaming it myself, I’m turning over that responsibility to the RT readers. Submissions are welcome at The best name gets the honor of carrying my team this season, and a free pizza. Don’t miss out! The name does not need to be related to football – or anything else – as long as it makes me giggle.

The Draft:
I had the last pick in the draft this year, so I got to watch the rest of the league snatch away most of the players that led me to success last season. This year’s roster features: Cam Newton (QB), who got his brains mashed by Denver this weekend; A.J. Green (WR), playing for the most predictably average team in the NFL; Matt Forte (RB) and Larry Fitzgerald (WR), who’re old; Legarrette Blount (RB), famous for punching other players, getting arrested, walking off the field mid-game, and not much else; Greg Olsen (TE), Stefon Diggs (WR), stuck having to catch passes from Sam Bradford after Teddy Bridgewater’s catastrophic knee injury; and Stephen Gostowski (K). It’s going to be a long semester.

This week’s Clutch/Choke Player:
Blair Walsh (K) is sitting deep on my bench roster. I’m confident that if I play him this season, he’ll burn my team at the worst moment possible. He missed two kicks this week despite putting up an admirable 14 points. I don’t trust him. Vikings fans will agree.

Injuries and Suspensions Watch:
Teddy Bridgewater (QB):  I have nothing funny to say about Bridgewater’s knee injury. It looked terrible, and I wish him a swift recovery.

Cam Newton (QB): No injury listed yet, but I’m not hopeful after he all the hits to the head he took against Denver. So much for my #1 pick.

This week’s fantasy recommendation:
Jimmy Garroppolo (QB): I have to keep telling myself that Jimmy isn’t going to drive the team in the ground while Tom Brady’s serving his retroactive suspension. Take a leap of faith with me!

Have any comments, suggestions or other sage advice? Want to rant about your own crappy team? Let me know at

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